Well, if ever there was a story of the shape of things to come, it has been this weekend. Poor little Hunter has been really poorly (off to the docs this morning). Not sure what's up with him but he's been running a fever, won't eat at all (not even his favourite foods), will drink and has drunk LOADS of milk (so at least he's getting something good inside him), is sleeping quite badly and is a Very Unhappy Baby:(. Subsequently, Andy and I are Very Unhappy (and totally knackered) Parents. And it has impacted on me the worst because I am so tired and hormonal because of the new pregnancy. I can only hope that when we have 2 poorly babies in the not too far off future (it's bound to happen at some point, right?), the fact that I won't actually be pregnant by then, will mean that I am better able to cope. I'm just relieved that Hunter was poorly over the weekend so I had Super Dad on hand to help. (he is amazing. Thank you Andy for being such a patient and brilliant Daddy).
So that's where we are at the moment. To be honest (and it's a real shame) I have had no time to think about this pregnancy because I have my hands full with H all the time. I'm sure that's totally normal and what usually happens with second and then subsequent pregnancies. It's been a totally different experience and I have felt totally different too. For starters, all I have really done for the last 3 months is either be grumpy or weepy (other dwarves are available;)). Whether that is a pregnancy thing or whether it is because I am juggling full time motherhood with the first trimester challenges I don't know. I have also been insanely tired this time but again, is that because I am now working full time, with no time for naps?
I have pockets of real excitement but really, at the moment we are dealing with the day to day challenges of looking after a baby on the brink of toddlerdom. Can I be honest about something? Just these last few weeks, I have been craving time away from him. And it's making me feel dreadful about myself:(. I was LOVING my stay-at-home mum-ness until only a few weeks ago, then it suddenly just got relentless. Hunter is now a really tricky eater (not just when he's ill). Lovingly prepared meals are thrown on the floor. Sometimes, as soon as he sees the bowl, he starts to cry:-/. The only thing he'll eat with no fuss, is fromage frais. So I'm in all sorts of dilemmas about how to best approach these difficulties.
I consulted the toddler bible Toddler Taming and apparently you shouldn't force a baby to eat but similarly I don't want him to think that he'll still get his pudding if he hasn't eaten his main meal but then at the moment, he's too young to understand the concept of meal time discipline whereby he doesn't get his yoghurt if he doesn't eat his main meal. And of course, all I really want to do is get lots of goodness inside him and have him eat a balanced diet. It's a pain in the ass and it's getting me down.
I'm also finding that the flat walls seem to be closing in on me and I'm craving a family kitchen with a table in it we can all eat our meals at. At the moment, Andy and I eat on our laps in the living room and I have to get Hunter's high chair out of a cupboard to put up in our little kitchen 3 times a day. I realise I am a lucky girl to have my little Lily Pad in North London but it just seems so small to me now. (again, I realise that other people manage with no complaint, in much smaller places with much bigger families.) Am I just being spoilt? Anyway, we are moving to be nearer Andy's parents in the summertime and it can't come soon enough. Hopefully, we will be able to afford to rent a little house where we can all stretch out a little.
Anyway, that's me at the moment. Mrs Whinge-Bags;(. At that hideous stage of looking fat instead of pregnant, craving junk food (Dairylea Dunkers anyone? OMG, like crack cocaine to preggers here) struggling with a baby/toddler hybrid and no idea how to proceed. SOS! Or indeed, HELP! WHERE'S THE BLOODY MANUAL?!
|Me and Daddy. Daddy and Me.|
|Happiness Is a Swing in Spring|
|Baby/Toddler hybrid thing;)|