*Boyfriend Footnote*

One thing I certainly was not warned about when embarking on this kid growing malarkey was my elegant, beautiful girlfriend morphing into a 60 year old man. First there was the flatulence and early mornings. But now we have the involuntary grumble when she bends, sits, gets up, walks far, walks up steps... In fact Sarah is a constant flow of oohs and ahhs. And now Sarah has taken on the other elderly male trait of snoring. As I write this I've already tried to get to sleep for an hour but grandad next to me has airwave issues! I knew the baby would compress the stomach, bladder and lungs but the nostrils?

On a positive note it would appear our bean is very advanced. It has already accomplished the Macarena, Cha Slide, Mambo Number 5 and Jump Around by House of Pain. It's going bonkers in there. Sarah did panic when it went quite for a day or two but it came back strong. After the event (never a useful time) we were told a hot bath might elicit a response if the 'problem' of a quiet kid occurs again.

That's all I've got to say about that. I'd better go help change the old boys bag!

Andy x

*Boyfriend Footnote*

Things are progressing nicely. The little one is doing somersaults and I’ve felt them. It’s good to finally be a part of the pregnancy and not just hear second hand what’s happening. It’s also very nice to have the tiniest conformation of a healthy sprog but it’s not so brilliant at 3am according to Sarah. If it’s not her decreasing bladder keeping her up it’s the little one raving at silly hours of the morning. 

Everyday, Sarah has justified the rapid moving and any aches as ‘It’s having a growth spurt.’ I reassure her every day with ‘That’s good, we kind of want it to grow.’ I’m pretty sure that a shrink spurt is not the way forward when harvesting a human. However, I will say that if it has grown every time she’s said ‘I think it’s had a growth spurt’ I fear we are going to give birth to the BFG. This throws up a couple of issues.

(1.) Sarah will have a somewhat awkward pregnancy if it is the ever-inflating child.

(2.) But more worryingly is whether it will have big, hairy ears and talk in a ridiculous West Country accent. Snosscumbers!

It’s a sober Christmas for Miss Cawood. She assures me that she likes it but I’m confident that when the fizz, red wine and liquor comes out she’ll sheepishly sip her ‘Bucks Fizz’ made from tonic and orange juice with a hint of bitterness. One thing is for sure when the January blues set in, all the fun and festivities have faded and we’re all over tired and fed up it’s nice to have a new event to focus on. In fact, it’s almost as if Christmas is something I’ve got to get through to get to the main event. Exciting!

Anyway, Merry Christmas All! Thank you for reading. Here’s to an expensive, sleepless but adventurous 2012. 

Andy x

Now We Are (Nearly) Viable

Nearly 24 weeks and when that happens on Sunday, our Tiny Guest will be viable:). Which simply means if it came early, then there would be a good chance it would survive. I guess this is the point at which the midwives and healthcare professionals take it all really seriously. I've been pretty much left to my own devices for all this time but after Christmas, it all properly kicks off: the stuff gets bought or given, we decorate and start ante natal classes and breast feeding courses.

I usually hate the bleak beginning of a New Year but this year rings the changes and according to one of my Daddy friends, every New Year will be a welcome one from here on in....:)

So, this is meant to be the really fun bit of any pregnancy and I have to admit, I'm really enjoying myself! I'm not so big that I look ungainly and everyone wants to talk to the pregnant woman at parties:-). Also, I seem to have MASSIVE reserves of energy! I mean, at this point, sleep is clearly for losers;).

So far this week, I have totally wintered down the garden, put up the Xmas decs, hosted a little soirée on Sunday, baked cookies, made sweeties, put home made hampers together, Xmas shopped and squeezed in a couple of voice overs to keep the bills paid too. When bed time comes around, Andy falls asleep double quick and leaves me awake either boring the twitter massive or reading The Week, Pychologies magazine or some baby manual or another. I think  this may well be the most productive period of my life. I'm hardly watching any tv! Is this a pregnancy "thing"? I know that some of my obsession with organising things will be a nesting instinct but do you think it's nature's way of getting you to do everything before you get too heavy and knackered to do it in the third trimester?

What a great time of year to have all this energy. I feel for my friend Angellica Bell: she's due on the 19th and is now basically housebound and playing a waiting a game. I've a feeling that child is going to be a little bugger and arrive on Xmas day, heehee! What a painful but thoroughly amazing Xmas gift!!!

So, after a period of reflection, I've been pondering the good the bad and the downright ugly of my pregnancy experience so far. Here's what I've come up with so far:

Pregnancy Pros:

The sheer fact I'm pregnant is brilliant! Lots of woman aren't quite so lucky.

Feeling the Tiny Guest wriggling about inside me and knowing its safe, warm and hopefully growing big and strong.

Not having hangovers is definitely a bonus. As a consequence, my skin is clear and there are no bags under my eyes. I definitely have a preggers glow about me that I'm told, thoroughly suits me;)

My hair seems to have stopped falling out and it's getting nice and thick and the Pregnacare prenatal vitamins are making my nails long and strong which is a bit of a Cawood first since they usually split and break.

I get offered seats on the rush hour tubes (not that I accept them: weirdly, I get too embarrassed!!)

Everyone seems to love a pregnant bird and I feel like a queen whenever I venture out of the house. Usually the paps at events I attend are singularly unmoved by my presence on the red carpet but of late, I do tend to get snapped. It feels like 1997 all over again (oh the glory days of my youth!)

Andy loves my changing shape and we are definitely closer than ever before: it is truly a shared experience and we are both so excited to meet our Tiny Guest next year. Parenthood is another adventure on our journey through life together.

As I mentioned before, I'm really quite enjoying the boundless energy I seem to have at the moment.

Pregnancy Cons:

I'm not going to lie: weeks 10 to 18 sucked pretty much every day. And I'm amazed I didn't end up resembling a Cheesy Quaver since I ate so many of them trying to stave off the general feeling of crappiness.

Having to hold your boobs when you're walking down stairs because they hurt so much was a bit sucky:-/

My nipples gross me out a bit now: they've got bigger and are now quite dark and I look permanently freezing: honestly,you could hang coats off them at the moment.

I won't miss the need to pee EVERY FIVE MINUTES!

I also won't miss the post pee dribble down the leg:-/. I know this is TMI but it's REALLY annoying. You think you're all done, you stand up to get yourself dressed and there it goes, The Dribble. Down The Leg. I feel like an incontinent old biddy. Pass the Tena Lady:(.

It's nearly Xmas and this year I am denied the copious amounts of mulled wine and Baileys that I usually imbibe with gusto at this time of year. Yes, I miss having a few drinks and making merry plus there is NOTHING more dull than being the only sober person in a room full of increasingly inebriated friends.

It's difficult to feel glamourous in maternity clothing. Let's be honest, elasticated waists are flattering on no one. Not even Supermodels.

Reflux and breathlessness are both like mosquito bites: not really enough of a big deal to make a massive fuss about but still HIGHLY ANNOYING.

Those are the only ones I can think of right now but it's fairly conclusive I think. It's odd to think that I am only really just passed halfway and already sometimes I wonder how it felt to NOT be pregnant! I guess when the Tiny Guest arrives, I will instantly forget how it feels NOT to be a parent. I'm very excited:-).

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I've been hitting the town while I still have the energy and the baby bump is a manageable size so here are some red carpet pics that have been taken of late:

OK! Christmas Party With Michelle Heaton and Her Bump! (pic Ben Pruchnie/Getty Images)

OK! Christmas Party. (pic by Ben Pruchnie/Getty Images)

Must dash now, I have a To Do list to demolish double quick;)