I'm starting to feel a bit more human:-). That nasty hungover feeling still pops up every now and then but the gaps between episodes are getting longer. This is a relief:).
Now the thing I'm most looking forward to, nay, can't wait for, is to start showing! I'm packing on the weight (just weighed myself this morning and I'm 8st 5lb: aaarrrgghhh! Don't forget I'm only 5'1":-/) and people have started to pat the old tummy and when they do I'm so embarrassed because there's no baby bump there yet, just a food baby that I've been carefully growing for the last few months on a steady diet of comfort foods and haribo....
When will my little bump pop out? I can't get into any of my old stuff anymore and it's pointless buying any new normal clothes right now so I'd really like an excuse to go maternity clothes shopping and remove that niggling doubt amongst fellow tube travellers about whether I might be up the duff or just a bit of a heifer. I keep getting excited when I wake up in the night and can feel a roundness in my belly, then I realise with a heavy heart, that it's just a full bladder or wind;(
This is just another one of those limbo stages of pregnancy, like the first 12 weeks before you can go public with the news. In fact the whole of the beginning chunk is one big waiting game really. The really good stuff is all 16 weeks onwards innit? The belly popping out, feeling better, starting to bloom, finding out what you're having, feeling the little bugger move around, everybody else feeling the little bugger moving around. This bit I'm currently in the middle of is BORING.
I saw a girl on the tube the other day who had one of those "Baby On Board" badges on. She was a bigger girl and I couldn't really see a baby bump (oh blimey, I hope that doesn't sound too bitchy, just trying to explain the situation;)) and it got me wondering whether or not I should get one and what they're really saying. I guess if you're carrying more than just baby weight then it removes that niggling doubt from the minds of commuters who might be worried about offending a more curvaceous lady but personally, I think it kind of silently screams "I'm growing a person, it's bloody hard work, give me a bloody seat!". My argument to that would be, yes, it IS knackering growing a baby but that carriage load of commuters are all utterly knackered too. Some of them may have been up all night with snotty, teething, grizzling babies, some of them may have been up all night working on tomorrow's presentation, and some of them may have been up all night drinking jagerbombs and dancing on tables (those commuters can stand ALL THE WAY for all I care, how DARE they be having that much fun when I'm not??!).
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are all really tired. Modern life is draining in so many different ways and I'm not sure how comfortable I am playing the pregnancy card and saying "Give Me A Bloody Seat!". I'm sure I will feel VERY differently about this when I am hoofing an extra 2 stone around with me in 5 or so months but for now I have decided that the "Baby On Board" badge is not for me. So if you do happen to see me on the Piccadilly line in the next few months, let me remove all doubt for you now: it's definitely a baby bump and not a Krispy Kreme one (although there's no denying that Krispy Kremes have definitely played a part).
Now just before I bugger off and get to the pile of admin and email inbox that needs urgent Cawood attention, I have a question to ask: WHERE can I get matching non underwired underwear? Since I was old enough to fit into a bra (when I was about 17: they took their time arriving but when they did, they did in style!) I have worn matching sets of underwear. It's something that Mama Cawood has passed on to her 2 girls and whilst I can't speak for my sister, personally, my day feels sort of "off" if my bra and knickers don't match.
I've looked on all the usual websites: Mamas and Papas and Mothercare but what I really want to do, is go into a shop and find a pretty bra in my size then look underneath the row of bras and find the matching pants in my size too. This is how my usual underwear buying expedition will play out. Nice, easy, convenient and satisfying. I do not want to find a bra that fits then spend hours traipsing around looking for knickers that sort of match in the 3 for 2 section. How hard can this be retailers????
This morning I took my dilemma to Twitter and one brilliant tweeter said she just removes the underwires from her normal underwired bras. Genius! Another tweet said that provided you get measured properly, you can still wear underwires so I'm currently thinking that's the route I may take. Mama Cawood is coming to visit on Thursday so we are heading to the underwear Mecca that is M&S at Marble Arch and the Mamas and Papas flagship store at Oxford Circus. Andy has told me he will treat me to a couple of sets so I WILL FIND SOME NEW UNDERCRACKERS IF IT BLOODY KILLS ME...
I'll let you know how I get on;).