Help! Where's the secret chocolate stash?!

I'm at that "difficult" stage of pregnancy #2. This was demonstrated to me with blinding clarity when I got the tube today and was eyed suspiciously by a few passengers clearly wondering "is she pregnant? Or is she fond of pies?". Kate Middleton I am not. But I only have myself to blame. I'm eating for 2 (horses). When I was pregnant with Hunter, I allowed myself as many treats as I liked, I really enjoyed eating whatever I wanted and I didn't feel bad about it in the slightest and there was a degree of moderation. This time around, my desire for anything sweet is not just a choice, it feels more like a compulsion;(. I watch TV and can't concentrate because I'll be fantasising about chocolate buttons, condensed milk, ice cream, Fab lollies, cake and donuts. Subsequently, I try not to keep that stuff in the house and so when I get desperate I have recently resorted to munching on sugar cubes or spoonfuls of golden syrup. I'm not proud of myself;((((.

Is my willpower just ruined by being knackered and looking after a baby/toddler hybrid on my own all day? Will I ever feel proud of my body again? I keep thinking about how it used to look, back in the heady days of the 90s. I was such a little hottie. Now I am a little fatty.....;)

Anyway, I'm just willing the bump to pop right out properly now so I can wear all my lovely maternity clothes. Mamas and Papas have kindly given me some gorgeous bits and I'm itching to get into them!

I decided tonight that I will keep a photo diary of my pregnancy and post the pictures: NOT instagrammed and NOT edited or airbrushed in any way and I will share them with you. Because I like to think I'm keeping it perhaps a bit more real than gym obsessed Kim Kardashian or Royal Stick Insect Kate Middleton (jealous, moi?). Here's hoping I don't turn into a weebl in front of your disbelieving eyes....

Here's the first 2: week 15.

Now then, where's that family pack of Jaffa cakes?

Sxxx

Week 15. pregnancy number 2. Feeling dotty;(.

Week 15. Side view. My norks are Out Of Control.....

SOS!

Well, if ever there was a story of the shape of things to come, it has been this weekend. Poor little Hunter has been really poorly (off to the docs this morning). Not sure what's up with him but he's been running a fever, won't eat at all (not even his favourite foods), will drink and has drunk LOADS of milk (so at least he's getting something good inside him), is sleeping quite badly and is a Very Unhappy Baby:(. Subsequently, Andy and I are Very Unhappy (and totally knackered) Parents. And it has impacted on me the worst because I am so tired and hormonal because of the new pregnancy. I can only hope that when we have 2 poorly babies in the not too far off future (it's bound to happen at some point, right?), the fact that I won't actually be pregnant by then, will mean that I am better able to cope. I'm just relieved that Hunter was poorly over the weekend so I had Super Dad on hand to help. (he is amazing. Thank you Andy for being such a patient and brilliant Daddy).

So that's where we are at the moment. To be honest (and it's a real shame) I have had no time to think about this pregnancy because I have my hands full with H all the time. I'm sure that's totally normal and what usually happens with second and then subsequent pregnancies. It's been a totally different experience and I have felt totally different too. For starters, all I have really done for the last 3 months is either be grumpy or weepy (other dwarves are available;)). Whether that is a pregnancy thing or whether it is because I am juggling full time motherhood with the first trimester challenges I don't know. I have also been insanely tired this time but again, is that because I am now working full time, with no time for naps?

I have pockets of real excitement but really, at the moment we are dealing with the day to day challenges of looking after a baby on the brink of toddlerdom. Can I be honest about something? Just these last few weeks, I have been craving time away from him. And it's making me feel dreadful about myself:(. I was LOVING my stay-at-home mum-ness until only a few weeks ago, then it suddenly just got relentless. Hunter is now a really tricky eater (not just when he's ill). Lovingly prepared meals are thrown on the floor. Sometimes, as soon as he sees the bowl, he starts to cry:-/. The only thing he'll eat with no fuss, is fromage frais. So I'm in all sorts of dilemmas about how to best approach these difficulties.

I consulted the toddler bible Toddler Taming and apparently you shouldn't force a baby to eat but similarly I don't want him to think that he'll still get his pudding if he hasn't eaten his main meal but then at the moment, he's too young to understand the concept of meal time discipline whereby he doesn't get his yoghurt if he doesn't eat his main meal. And of course, all I really want to do is get lots of goodness inside him and have him eat a balanced diet. It's a pain in the ass and it's getting me down.

I'm also finding that the flat walls seem to be closing in on me and I'm craving a family kitchen with a table in it we can all eat our meals at. At the moment, Andy and I eat on our laps in the living room and I have to get Hunter's high chair out of a cupboard to put up in our little kitchen 3 times a day. I realise I am a lucky girl to have my little Lily Pad in North London but it just seems so small to me now. (again, I realise that other people manage with no complaint, in much smaller places with much bigger families.) Am I just being spoilt? Anyway, we are moving to be nearer Andy's parents in the summertime and it can't come soon enough. Hopefully, we will be able to afford to rent a little house where we can all stretch out a little.

Anyway, that's me at the moment. Mrs Whinge-Bags;(. At that hideous stage of looking fat instead of pregnant, craving junk food (Dairylea Dunkers anyone? OMG, like crack cocaine to preggers here) struggling with a baby/toddler hybrid and no idea how to proceed. SOS! Or indeed, HELP! WHERE'S THE BLOODY MANUAL?!

Sx

Me and Daddy. Daddy and Me.

Happiness Is a Swing in Spring

Baby/Toddler hybrid thing;)

DING DING! Round 2!

Andy, Hunter and I are thrilled to announce that Hunter will be getting a little brother or a little sister in October sometime:).

SO! We will have 2 under 2.We must be MAD! But I was advised by my GP (who told me 70% of her referrals are fertility related) not to hang around lest my 40 year old eggs and ovaries give up the ghost;).  We feel very blessed that we are lucky enough to have another baby.

More to follow in the next few days but we wanted to share our happy news now that the uncertain first trimester is done and dusted.

Much love, exhilaration and trepidation,

The Merrys. xxxx

Baby Merry number 2 at 12 weeks and 3 days.

Now We Are 1!

So, my baby is not such a baby anymore. He is nearly 1!! I know it's the ultimate cliche but I don't know where this year has gone! Babies truly are time wasters that's for sure. I'd love to know how many minutes/hours/days I've actually lost just watching him play/sleep/eat/be;).

Obviously Hunter has changed beyond all recognition from the day he was pulled bottom first from my tummy on March 27th last year, but how have I changed? How has Andy changed? We may look the same on the outside (give or take a few pounds), but on the inside, I am an entirely different being. And I think the change is an improvement...

I would now define myself as a Stay At Home Mum, not a Broadcaster. Maybe a Mummy Blogger but essentially Hunter is my job now and although it is perhaps not as glamorous or perceivable fabulous as my previous life, I feel very proud with my new role.

The manicures, pedicures, haircuts, fashionable clothes and nights out have gone and sometimes I miss not being as groomed as I once was, but in their place I have had to learn qualities that I didn't previously have: I have learned to be patient, even when I am tired and frustrated. I have learned to be kind, and not to raise my voice, even sometimes when that frustration threatens to overwhelm me. I have learnt that someone else's needs and wants are now more important than my own. I have learnt to accept that sometimes, parenting can be relentless and incredibly hard but I have also discovered that being Mummy can deliver the most rewarding moments in my life so far, pockets of sheer joy and sublime happiness. Moments when you realise that nothing else really matters other than your little family. Moments of pure peace that I have never known before. If I could, I would have a whole brood of these gorgeous creatures;).

And so onwards we go, all of us: growing, changing, evolving. Now We Are 1.

So, what's next? Well perhaps our next year will be a year of 2s: Number 2? (child, not call of nature;)). The terrible 2s? Who knows what the year will hold. All I know for sure is that there's still no bloody manual and really, I still don't have a clue what I'm doing!

So what else have I learnt in this impossibly short year? Far too much to remember or bore you with but here are just a few things I've learnt that are impossible to forget:

You really do become inured to things that probably would have made you gag pre-baby: yes, your beloved offspring's shit DON'T stink;(. Well, not to you anyway.

Similarly, you will no longer be totally grossed out by kissing your infant and somehow managing to get some of their baby snot in your mouth.

You will discover that it is nigh on IMPOSSIBLE to feed your child without opening your own mouth when you want them to open theirs. It's TRUE! Watch your friends feed their kids...

You will discover that there is not a mess in the land that cannot be cleared up with baby wipes. They are the parenting equivalent of gaffer tape in the adult world. They fix everything.

Suddenly, you'll discover that you have hitherto hidden talents in the world of entertainment. Someone will always laugh at your stupid faces. Who cares if they're only 11 months old?;).

Anyway, I must go. Another glittering day lies ahead of me, mainly involving a dribbling, teething toddler, the interesting nappies that can accompany those troublesome teeth and perhaps to really shake things up, we might take a trip to a soft play centre........;) 

*Husband/Daddy Footenote*

Howdy all,

Sarah recently posted a blog where deep in the text was a subtle mention of a desire for a second child. That’s two… 2… deux… dos… 100% extra… 2.4 family.

This strikes fear into my heart and tension in my neither-regions. It’s not that Hunter isn’t ace and one more like him wouldn't fill our house with more fun and smiling goons - it’s finding the time to look after 2 independents.

Although Sarah does the bulk of the child care there are those times like this weekend I have to work and she is left for 12 days on the trot entertaining and caring for the boy leaving her, thus me slightly frazzled and stressed. She really does appreciate me home at the weekends to give her some relief and time to do her own thing. 2 kids under two, I hear, is no mean feat!

 With a second child it’s not only twice as much effort but those hours Sarah gets to relax during Hunters naps won’t exist! I’m confident a new addition wouldn’t have exactly the same sleeping pattern as H.

There is of course also the sleep deprivation which I’m positive all parents with more than one kid forget. It must have been evolution that granted us with this unique and ridiculous breeding amnesia. Sarah seems to have forgotten that a baby sleeps little. What if this in turn keeps Hunter up at night? That’s 4 humans turned to zombies.

Then there’s the financial aspect. Sarah and other slightly deluded folks might suggest a 2^nd baby costs nothing. We have all the cots, pushchairs, car seats, toys, bottles etc. and Sarah will yet again try to breast feed so there will be no addition to our food bill. BUT and it’s a massive BUT I’m not thinking about the first 6 months, I’m thinking about schools, universities, cars, more house space. We live in London – it’s not cheap.

I’m saying all this but Sarah is boss I know that I would give up all the money in the world and anything else in exchange for the happiness we’ve had since the little boy entered our lives (See examples below!) and I’m sure a newby would only add to that. So in essence this whole blog seems to have been a pointless exercise – however it was a therapeutic process so thank you for being part of that.

Besides, I’m a second child and if my folks had held back and given into any of my fears yours truly wouldn’t be here to moan at you and you would exist in a world without me, which in my book would have been a catastrophe ;-)

I’m sure we will keep you posted if anything happens in this area. In the meantime any reassurance would be much appreciated.

Speak to you soon,

Andy

You Lookin' at Me? - A Bath With Mummy

Twisted Fire Starter - A Bath With Daddy

This post is Hunter's entry into the Printerpix Photo competition.

On The Move!

I'm so sorry that there are 2 "footnotes" back to back! Quite what that says about mine and Andy's differing time management skills I'm not sure;-/ 

SO! The Baby is Mobile! Life will never be the same again.....

He has been trying to crawl for a good few weeks now but would just give up after a few minutes but then one day last week, apropos of nothing in particular, he just figured it out. One knee in front of the other and he was OFF! I was so intrigued by his new skills that I moved his toys from one end of our living from rug to the other far more times than I care to admit just to watch him go after them. It was the best game of "fetch" I've ever played!

Of course, there is nothing more amazing than watching your baby develop new skills but it comes with a whole new set of rules doesn't it? Hunter is obsessed with our fire and it has been brass monkeys weather recently so I had a choice: either I could take him with me whenever I went about my business room to from in the Lily Pad, or I could get a playpen. Old Skool. Since he's a bit of a dead weight these days and I didn't fancy sharing my private ablutions with a 10 month old, the playpen won out. And it's fab! It's a Lindam one which is actually quite cosy and den-like when the padded floor is in there too. I can't wait til H is a bit older and we can put rugs and blankets over it and make it like a proper den/cave. (err, who is the grown up here?!).

I thought he might not like it but he loves it and I can get my jobs done knowing he is safe and sound and happily occupied with various noisy toys. I don't leave him in there for hours of course, but when I have ironing or other hazardous housewifely jobs to do, it is fantastic piece of mind.

So far, he hasn't shown much interest in the 6 stairs we have in our flat but when he does, I will get the old Lindam baby gate up too.

Andy and I really need to have a think about all the other potential hazards in our home. I see them EVERYWHERE I look but I can't wrap both the baby and the furniture in cotton wool so in the main, I make sure there is nothing within baby reach that he could choke on or that he shouldn't ingest and all glass ornaments are now out of small person grasp too.

As one of my NCT girls friends said last week about her little boy being on the move: "Sarah, it is a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL". And indeed it is.....

I have put up a couple of videos of the mobile Bear with this post: they were shot a week apart. What a difference a week makes, eh?  BEFORE

 AFTER

So in some ways, he is developing in leaps and bounds but in others, we are having very much a 2 steps forward, 1 step back parenting experience....as I write this, I can hear him shouting at me from his cot where he really should be napping:-/.

We've had a period of ill health for the first time in his life, poor thing:. Starting with a bit of norovirus that he kindly shared with Andy, his Grandma AND me. So generous, thank you Hunter;(. He seemed absolutely FINE after 6 hours though and didn't have any diarrhoea at all. Andy, my mum and I fared less better....(do babies bounce back quicker than us Olds?)

He was then off his food for a good few days and now has a big old tooth bothering him in tandem with a very snotty cold and a bit of a cough and then this morning we had an exploding nappy too. Deep, deep joy. Consequently, he is not settling very well for any of his naps. I think it is a combination of being so excited to continue to practise his new skills coupled with feeling really rather rubbish. Poor Bear. He has NO IDEA! He's going to feel pretty shit for pretty much the next 3 years. Poor Bugger.

So that's where we are now! MOBILE. CHATTY. SMILEY. And ILL;(.

Can you believe he will be 1 next month? Blimey! And I am 40... Tick tock, tick, tock....

About time we started thinking about number 2 isn't it Andy? I will leave him the right to reply to THAT little nugget....


Ciao my Beauties!

Happy boy at the Soft Play Area

Safe and Sound in his Lindam Play Pen.

You Looking At Me Auntie Fearne?!

*Husband/Daddy Footnote*

Hello again! 

Clearly mummyhood is more time consuming than a full time job - I've found time to write another entry!

As much as I want to make my son happy throughout his life I have to admit that me pulling faces, making strange noises and creating games is not totally selfless. As every parent knows; to hear the chuckle of a little one is easily the most smile inducing activity ever founded. This is of course the opposite when your child is upset: The heart sinks and forehead drops.

I have been experimenting with our happy little Hunter and am always trying to find new ways that make him laugh, take away the tears and sometimes reduce him to joyful, breathless squealing.

Here’s what I have found...

· Dropping the baby – A classic: Just pretend to drop your child whilst making sure you don’t drop the child. I have witnessed this going wrong with another family member at the helm and the child in question DID NOT laugh. Hunter is not allowed to take part in this game with this adult!

· Superman – Again a classic that Hunter loves. He likes to be swooped around the room at pace and with a jolty movements. This is not to be performed straight after dinner! Last week my arm looked like it was sponsored by Ambrosia! (In fact I now avoid most ‘throwing baby around’ games after Hunters eaten.) We now read a fair amount ;-)

· Idiot face – To get his attention and the odd smile (Especially if he’s crying or eating) we roll our ‘R’s’ for a Chewbacca type sound which he loves but daddy has taken it a step further. I wiggle the tongue outside my mouth like a 12 year old practicing French kissing on their hand (We all did that… right?). This is accompanied by the standard wiggling tongue noise. I also wobble my cheeks with a different sound and do horse impressions. I look mental! The other week whilst at a family christening the priest pointed out that “I was going to raise an idiot if I carried on that way.” A priest! Parenting fail.

· Horror Movie tickles – Hunter is the most ticklish person I have ever met. There is only one thing that makes him chuckle and squeal more: The anticipation of said tickle. I approach slowly with low humming ‘Ahhhhhhhh’ (A la Psycho) and he cracks up with the tension of the attack.

· Untitled idiocy – Yesterday, my good lady wife, Sarah, showed me a new discovery which has dwarfed all my attempts at being number one baby comedian. Just before I went to work she sat The Boy down and enthusiastically repeated the Word(?) ‘Woohoo!’ That's all! There's an example below...

He laughed uncontrollably, bent doubled, rocking from excitement and glee. I thought his sides were going to be split. I’ve been outdone by a ‘Woohoo’. Blasted Woohoo!!!! Tonight I’m going to experiment with variations I can claim as my own laugh creator. Weehee? Poowee?

Anyway, I’m off to practise.

All the best,

Andy

Wowway!